Ich befinde mich gerade in einer Zeit, in der ich mich wieder einmal gefordert sehe, ganz zu mir selbst zu stehen, zu dem, was ich tue und wie ich es tue mit allen Konsequenzen und Risiken. In einer Zeit, in der ich selbst gefordert bin, mir Vorbild zu werden und das zu leben, was ich weitergebe: im Yoga ebenso wie in der sexuellen Bildung.
Es gibt leider auch Menschen, die meine Grenzen missachten, laut und furchteinflößend sein können – aber auch charismatisch und mächtig. Menschen, bei denen ich mich hin- und hergerissen fühle; hin – zu ihrem Know-How und Engagement und abgestoßen von ihrer narzisstisch-egozentrischen und machtgierigen Art. Und sehr häufig hinterlassen diese Menschen in mir ein Gefühl von Sprachlosigkeit und Beklemmung, von Scham und später dann Wut. Ich schaffe es wirklich sehr lange mitfühlend mit diesen Menschen zu sein und aus Liebe an der Sache, die einen scheinbar an sie bindet, unangebrachtes Verhalten zu akzeptieren. Manchmal vielleicht zu lange.
Aber es ist nie zu spät, andere – eigene Wege zu gehen. Wege, die authent sind, weil du bemerkt hast, dass emotionaler Schmerz ein Wegweiser dafür ist, wieder zur eigenen Wahrheit zurückzukehren. Und das tue ich gerade – Abschied nehmen von Lebensbereichen, die nicht mehr stimmig sind und Menschen, die eine Antwort und eine Grenze benötigen, auch wenn ein Nein wirklich Überwindung benötigt, weil ich stimmiges Neinsagen nie wirklich gelernt habe.
Vor einiger Zeit hat mich Sara Ablinger, die ich sehr schätze, mit einer wunderbaren Übung zu Grenzen und Consent zu einer neuen „Neinperspektive“ inspiriert: die Teilnehmenden waren aufgefordert in unterschiedlichen Stimmungen und Haltungen durch den Raum zu gehen und sich ein „Ja“ bzw. ein „Nein“ zu sagen.
Hast du ein „Nein“ erhalten, dann lag es an dir mit einem „Danke“ (für dein „Nein“) zu antworten. Zu Beginn etwas ungewöhnlich, aber mit der Zeit sickerte es… Sich für das Setzen einer Grenze zu bedanken kann gut tun, weil dieses „Danke“ die Zurückweisung entschärft und deinen Selbstwert nicht verletzt. „Danke dafür, dass du es ehrlich mit mir meinst. Ich kann damit umgehen“. Und jene Person, die in ihrem „Nein“ wertgeschätzt wird spürt, dass es in Ordnung und gut ist, eine Grenze zu setzen.
Ich erwarte mir nicht, dass ich ein „Danke“ von jenen Menschen erhalte, denen ich eine Grenze setze – aber ich selbst kann mir innerlich auf die Schulter klopfen und in mich hinein schmunzeln. „Danke“ dass du ehrlich zu dir selbst bist – ehrlich und gewaltfrei (Ahimsa).
Haltung zu predigen ist das eine – Haltung zu sein das andere. Dazwischen können oft Welten liegen….
Ein „Nein“ ist das neue „nachhaltig“ im Sinne von heilsam.
Vielleicht schaffe ich es auch, das nächste Mal, wenn jemand „nein“ zu mir sagt: ein „Danke“ zu geben. Mal sehen….
Shanti und alles Gute auf deinen Wegen,
Sabine
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